I've hardly been awake for two hours now, but already my head is swimming in nauseousness and confusion at the stuff I've seen and heard on MSNBC so far.

Well, Bush just signed a bill that will help promote a healthier fuel economy here in the U.S. The bill proposes that by 2020, all vehicles ruining on fuel will get at the least 35 miles to the gallon. However that's going to play out, I will wait to see.

There was also a fire that took place in the president's exec. office building on the White House grounds. Hm. Wonder how it started? There were no injuries aside from a guy who threw himself out a window to quickly escape the choking smoke that wa filtering in from a room above him, but there were no injuries from the fire itself. As of now, it seems to be under control.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Brittany Spears' 16-year old sister, is purportedly pregnant by the boyfriend she's currently dating, whom she met at church. Another Spears - well, I hope she'll be better than her sister when it comes to parenting matters, should this scenario be wholly true. To be honest, I'm still a bit skeptical. . . But, if she really is, it's her decision. If it was, by any chance, a planned pregnancy, then, it simply was. If not, at least she should have used protection.

There was a video that surfaced somehow that praised the efforts of suicide bombers. I'm sure if you google it, you'll find it. I only happened to see it on tv. But, it was a Jihadist video that was to target young girls and women in a way that propogated that suicide bombing among them should increase, and that it's a noble endeavor. It shows a little girl who's singing about the loss she feels when her mother's not around. In truth, the radical Jihadist Islamic mother is building a bomb in their home. Later in the video, the mother comes across two people who look like they're guards of some kind, and she blows herself up and the two men with her via the homemade bomb. The scene cuts to a cemetary where a grave marker written in Arabic stands, and the lyrics underneath, which are still being sung by the little girl, is that she and her grandmother (I think, if that's what Abaidah (sp?) means - correct me if I'm wrong) miss her mother, and that the two of them will soon join her, praise to the Prophet, may Allah bless your steps. . . etc. I was watching it, dumbstruck and horror-struck, and could only think - wow. Just wow. How misguided that mode of thinking is. . . But, they're radicals. So, yeah. Can I say much of anything surprises me anymore. . .?

It's been a while since I've updated my blog. Honestly, I pretty much gave up on it for a while. If there has been anyone out there filled with interest and curiosity about this blog, then I apologize for the long absence.

Winter break has started for me, and I won't be returning back to college until Jan. 22. I've been home for four days already, and already I'm feeling the general fatigue and loneliness for Memphis and a few choice peoples. But, I don't want to bore you with my sentiment. But that's all I have for now. ^_^

I shall be making a comeback to doing regular posting here and updating the look of my blog, just you wait and watch. Stories, art, things that matter, things that don't. . . yup.

I shall return.

The spring break week is quickly coming to a close, a close which I'm not really anticipating. I still have so much to finish. Me and my procrastination. . .

Well, as for today, not much happened today really. I pretty much sat on my butt all day and watched tv, while occassionally doing some re-reading of various essays, trying to weed out the two of which I'm going to write about for a 5-page essay that's due on Mon. for a class. Well, I have have three sentences down right now, neither of which is actually a thesis, either. I have to get that done. Then I have another major assignment (an animation) that I need to start and have finished by Wed. But that's not all, but I'll spare the details on the rest of the assignments.

Other than sit on my butt for the majority of the day, I did walk to the (grocery) store, something I don't usually do. I couldn't find anyone whom I knew fairly well to even ask them to give me a lift to it, so I walked. It was half an hour walk there, then it was about fifteen minutes for me to actually grocery shop and get through the E-Z express self check out lanes, then half an hour walk back to the dorms with only three bags of groceries (mostly frozen food), just enough to last me for the next two weeks or so. When I got back, I was sweating moderately, not terribly, and it felt like I had just lost a couple of five. . . or ten pounds from all the walking. lol Just kidding. My arms didn't hurt much from carrying the bags, though about halfway into the walk back they started to go a bit numb because I was carrying the bags with my arms pretty much hanging down straight at my side, so I flexed and relaxed them from time to time to get the circulation going a bit better (o' course). Walking was really no big deal, I'm used to it since I often walk to and from school (about half an hour total round trip at least five days out of the week). It was warm out with a light breeze blowing today, too, so that was good. I felt somewhat "accomplished" when I got back and started to put my stuff away, heh.

I want to write so badly, but don't know what to write about exactly. Ever have one of those days? Want to do something artistic, whether it be creating art or writing a story, starting a novel, poetry, getting down random musings, serious essays, whatever, yet, for whatever (irrational) reason, you can't seem to stay focused and complete it, much less even begin the darn thing sometimes? That's how I'm feeling right now.

I have so many ideas floating around in my head right now that it's impossible to put them all into writing or visuals in a single day's time. That's why it's good to separate something out and really focus on it - and I'm trying that, but I just can't. . .seem. . . to. . . begin it! To me, they all seem so good, and I can't decide what to tackle first! Argh, artistic expression shouldn't be a hectic chore, but fun! What happened to the fun and just. . . "doing" it, letting it pour out, flow freely. . . ?

This spring break, for me, which officially started two days ago, just doesn't feel like a spring break. I'm unable to go home due to transportation reasons, so I'm stuck here. Worst yet is that my roommates are here, too. Gosh. .

I'll be spending most of the time working on school-related stuff for each and every class I'm taking right now, which is a first - stuff for every class, stuff that's due completed the week after the break. But, I'll make it. . . I somehow always do.

-sigh-

I finally went to see Pan's Labyrinth after a long while of wanting to see it. I have to say, it was a very exciting, suspenseful, jaw-dropping movie, and I wouldn't mind seeing even more like it. It was a real change from the typical movies I'm used to in many ways. Guillermo del Toro was the director, and I must say, I will definately be on the look out for more of his movies.

(to be cont. . .)

Picture this: A morning where it continually grows hazy, the sky grows darker, the clouds slow themselves to a snail-like pace until it seems that they're not even moving at all. Your heart begins to race faster and faster, because you know what's about to happen. One of the greatest and most beautiful of natural phenomenon is about to occur - a storm is approaching. And oh, how you've waited so long for a day like this.

The outside air is still and remarkably warm, and the streets are so devoid of life, you'd think that most people just decided to stay indoors to watch the event from the comfort of their homes, lounging in a cushioned chair, a good book or a warm beverage in hand, their eyes and ears attuned to even the most subtle of noises. You'd swear you could hear the storm coming even before it made the first noise.

A crack of lightning cascades down the sky in an electrifying diagonal, like the ripped edge of a sheet of paper, uneven, tapering, beveled. . .so natural. At almost the same moment the thunder seems to have followed, booming with the sweet, stable ambiance of a deep, velvety voice, causing the ground to shake in such an exhilarating bump you'd almost wish for another, more fierce this time, and another, just as fiercer.

The rain starts out timidly, just barely squeezing itself out from its mother cloud. The light drizzle soon creates a curtain of grey mist. It sprinkles the grass with a light residue of dew-like drops, but slowly begins to drench it, weighing it down, and the frail, green blades give in to the pressure being forced upon them.

The rain falls faster, and soon it starts to pour. With a closer inspection, you see just how it falls at an angle, and not straight down. The paved streets become shades darker than they previously were, tree limbs bounce up and down from the force raining down on them, and all the while, the sky is illuminated from time to time, like a sporadic, unpredictable lazer light show. There's the thunder in the backdrop, like the beating of bass drums all in sync.

The storm continues on, and you continue to watch in amazement. The rain comes down even harder still, and the outside world seems so dead, so dark and dreary, yet so alive, so beautiful, so inspiring.

I was tottering between channels 26 and 27, Larry King Live and Glen Beck, respectively, taking in the latest on the Anna Nicole situation. I haven't been seriously engaged in following the events surrounding her life and her death, I've just been here and there with it.

Glen Beck was the more intertaining of the two. While I vaguely know of some of Anna Nicole's on-screen performances, her life, and some of the things she did, I'm not that "in" to her. But, as I was listening to Beck say what he had to say about her, some of the things he said really stuck out. Namely, when he exclaimed stuff along the lines of: "What has Anna really contributed to the world? Nothing. Take away the people who love her, and just leave her career, what has she really done to benefit others? What has she given?" While he was saying this, images of her primping and posing in pre-recorded footage from past photo shoots and performances flashed on screen next to him. As my eyes were taking these images in, I couldn't help but think "Why does she subject her body so much in this fashion? She's just giving men who do subject and objectify women's bodies and only view them as sensuous, sexual objects, she's only contributing to that notion (not that she's the only one to ever or ever will be)."

But, seriously, just watching her, it made me want to change the channel. I probably would have had the commentary not been as intriguing and interesting as it was. She's just "selling" her body (in a metaphorical sense) in the form of sexual taunts, ways that catch the eyes of the perverted among us, and she's contributing to the decline of self-esteem in young girls and women who do view her in a manner that seems to want to say: "you'll get somewhere in life and you'll get paid lots of money if you do this while wearing this skimpy, provocative outfit, while shaking your hips and blowing kisses and throwing back your long, curly tresses over your shoulders every five seconds, and primping anytime there's a camera around to snap a shot of you. . ." That's what I'm getting, and it disgusts me (and it's not just her I'm targeting, mind you).

As he (Beck) kept talking, there was a comparison made between American culture in the present day and the ancient Roman civilization at the height of its empire. Beck exclaimed something along the lines of: "We need to create some values, not this kind of stuff. . ." (meaning we need some wholesome values to look at and ascribe to, not to the glitzy, glamorous, publicized, high-profile life of celebrities who just get by mostly on the way they look and present themselves, as opposed to any real, tangible, family-friendly, wholesome, moral, intuitive, philosophical practice/contributions to the welfare and well-being of a person or people(s), or a thing or a place or medical sciences. . .you get the point).

He went on to state something like (and this was in relation to the "we need some values, not this, thing) (and this is just me paraphrasing and adding some words to get his point further across, because I don't remember his exact phrasing word by word), "If you'll notice, the Roman empire only lasted for about 200 years. America could be considered to be at the height of its empirical reign as a major world power, and with it being a democracy, it may not last much longer (what with all the things that have been happening to us lately). We need to change. We need to establish some wholesome values." And I do think that's true. I, for one, am sick and tired of seeing reality tv shows, sitcoms, and basically the news being taken over with the broadcasting of celebrity lifestyles. I'm sick of all the model-related shows, not to mention the commercials that inflict in many woman a sense of worthless in their appearances and attitudes if they don't "convert" and start being more like this, or dressing like this, using this make up, buying from this designer, doing their hair this way, talk like this, walk like that, use this and you'll get somewhere because guys don't like ugly chicks. . . and basically all the publicized media that tries to mold young girls/women into this idealized mold within an artificial, idealized world. Money and looks are not everything. They never will be. And I personally am still trying to convince myself of that. My disgust for things of that nature has grown great.

I got my grade back for the 3 small volumes (books) that I created in book arts about two weeks ago. It was a C+ for all three. Gosh. . . darn. . . it. A friggin' C+, and most of that was due to craftmanship, because my inside covers were a bit warped (not insanely noticeable!) and not exactly 90 degree angles on at least two corners of one. If only it had at least been a B-, I would have been somewhat a bit more joyous. I thought it should have been in the B range, at least. Sheesh.

Well, I do have the choice of re-doing them. I do think I'll do that. Hopefully I'll have the time. Those 3 were actually supposed to just be "practice" for the real, final versions we'll turn in later, which will require more work - the final ones are to implement narrative with images and text, unlike the tests. I should take photos of them all and post them. Once I get a good digital camera, though.

I felt an overwhelming sense of pride for and in myself for absolutely no reason today, and I'm still feeling it right now. It's as if I can take on the world - and it scares me. Always does scare me after going through a strong bout of depression.

Hopefully it'll last through to the weekend to help me out with a crap-load of assignments. . .